Anxiety

So yesterday, we had some ice/snow/sleet mess.  And it wasn’t that major (although many schools closed in anticipation of the storm)…it caused some MAJOR anxiety for me that seemed to come out of nowhere.

It started when I was going to warm up my car and slipped in the driveway.  I didn’t even hurt myself, but I scared myself.

Then I got to town on my way to work and a car had slide sideways on a little bridge and blocked it.  I freaked out.  While there were many routes I could have taken to get to work, I was relieved when my boss told me I could work from home.  So back I went.

Then last night, I needed to come to town to teach Zumba…and I made Tyler drive me.

Y’all.  The roads were FINE.  But I was so scared.

So tonight, I have tickets to see Pentatonix in Tulsa with my friend Lauren.  And while I was tempted to say “nope” and stay safe and warm at home, Tyler told me I needed to go.  He told me I needed to go get over this fear of bad roads (especially since they are FINE!)…and I needed to go because I want to. 

I had some anxiety about it this morning and last night…but I am feeling better today.  I keep reminding myself to pray when I feel anxious.

This morning I read Psalm 4 (emphasis added):
 Answer me when I call to you,
    my righteous God.
Give me relief from my distress;
    have mercy on me and hear my prayer.

How long will you people turn my glory into shame?
    How long will you love delusions and seek false gods[b]?[c]
Know that the Lord has set apart his faithful servant for himself;
    the Lord hears when I call to him.
Tremble and[d] do not sin;
    when you are on your beds,
    search your hearts and be silent.
Offer the sacrifices of the righteous
    and trust in the Lord.
Many, Lord, are asking, “Who will bring us prosperity?”
    Let the light of your face shine on us.
Fill my heart with joy
    when their grain and new wine abound.
8 In peace I will lie down and sleep,
    for you alone, Lord,
    make me dwell in safety.
So….while I am praying for safe travels, I am also resting that God has good things for me, and He has allowed me to have caution and use wisdom…and He will be there to calm my heart.
I can’t wait to see Pentatonix tonight.  It’s a sold out show, so I know it will be awesome. And you’ll get to hear all about it! 🙂
 


Comments

  1. Don’t blame you a bit for having some anxiety over those roads…I would be a mess!!! I’m glad you’ve decided to go to the show– you’re going to have such a blast!!!

  2. have fun at the concert! I’m a tad bit jealous – I love those guys!!!

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Anxiety

I had a terrible bout of anxiety yesterday.
Sunday night, I had a bad dream.  Not the kind of bad dream that is crazy, scary stuff going on…but the kind of bad dream that seems real.
I dreamt that my hours were cut back at work (and I’m already a little worried about work because of money….I feel like I need a better paying job), and we had somehow racked up a bunch of debt and were at risk for losing our house.  And also in my dream, one of us was really sick (don’t remember details…but I remember being at the doctor’s office in my dream and crying).  All that gave me TERRIBLE anxiety yesterday.
I tried to work out yesterday morning, but my heart was racing from my dream…so I couldn’t do anything but pet Mikey and sit on the couch and try to calm down.
I cried talking to mom on the way to work (about something silly…)  Something about mommas just make all the emotions come out, am I right?
I just felt wound up so tight while at work…so yesterday during my lunch I went for a little walk/job at a nearby park.  That helped some.  Some music, fresh air (even if it was a little cold without a jacket), and some exercise.  
I think I really just needed to relax.  So I spent the evening cooking, crafting and a bubble bath.  Also some prayer in there.
Not sure what is weighing so heavily on my heart (I mean, its obvious worry over money…and while our budget is kinda tight, we aren’t in major debt or anything….so not sure where its coming from).   Anyway, I kept thinking of this verse:
1 Peter 5:7  “Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you”
So wonderful to know I serve a God who cares about the little things (like my anxiety stirred up from a bad dream).  He has my heart and my worries….and I couldn’t think of anyone better to be in control of that.  Thank you Lord for your watchful eye, your caring heart, and your saving grace.

Comments

  1. I hope you are having a better day today. I love that verse. I’ll have to remember it the next time I’m feeling anxious.

  2. Praying for you today girl!!

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