Troubles in this World

Troubles in this World

Yesterday was a hard day.  I found out a sweet friend had died, and my great niece had emergency surgery for a mass on her brain that wasn’t successful.

My heart is burdened. There isn’t much I can do for these situations.

I sent some text messages and said prayers for comfort for my friend who passed away. But my heart is breaking for her family (who we LOVE), her sons who are now without a momma.  I wish there was more to do to help.

My little great niece, Izzy, is at the Children’s Hospital in Little Rock.  We aren’t super close to her (family dysfunction- she’s my half-brother’s granddaughter.  And his ex-wife is raising her…so we don’t see her much except holidays…) but we love her nonetheless.  She was having terrible headaches, and they discovered a mass on her brain.  They aren’t sure if its cancerous or carniverous (meaning it’s feeding off of her brain and vessels).  She was air lifted to Children’s and they were trying to get her stable before surgery. But the pressure on her brain got too bad, so they had to put in a shunt…which also means pain management is difficult now.  They were again waiting for her to stabilize before surgery, but she had bleeding and seizure and they had to do emergency surgery.  She lost a lot of blood and they were unable to remove the entire mass.  So they are just waiting- and more surgery will be likely.

It’s hard to hear of someone suffering and you not be able to help in any way except pray.  And I know prayer is important, but I wish I could do more.

 

So that was my life yesterday.  I’m clinging to the words in 1 John 5:4: “For everyone who has been born of God overcomes the world. And this is the victory that has overcome the world—our faith.”

1Jn5

For everyone who has been born of God overcomes the world. And this is the victory that has overcome the world—our faith. — 1 Jn 5:4



Gallbladder’s Last Day

Gallbladder’s Last Day

Tomorrow, I’m having a cholecystecyomy…the fancy word for gallbladder removal. It’s going to be outpatient, laparoscopic, and should be easy.  I’ll be honest.  I’m nervous.  I’m also hella ready, too.  For over a month, I’ve been feeling crummy.  It’s gotten worse.  I can somewhat manage it with my diet, but I still feel lethargic and get heartburn from bland foods, like bread. #notfun

I know my body and I knew something was off.  I pushed (and got some push back).  I actually had my own ultrasound first, and had to sort of convince others it was my gallbladder.  I think had we stuck to a traditional medical schedule, we would still be testing, trying medications, and I would continue feeling crummy and sick for months.  From what I’ve read, it takes about 6 months from the start of sickness to surgery for gallbladder.  I just sped things up a bit.

The gallbladder lives under your right lower ribcage area…sort of here in the “M” on Zumba.

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It does serve a purpose, but my life should be better without it.  My body should adapt to living with a gallbladder.

And as nervous/anxious/scared as I am…I know this is the right thing.  The surgeon’s words to me were “Your gallbladder is sick, and it’s making you sick. Let’s take it out.”  So let’s do it.

I would covet your prayers and happy thoughts for tomorrow. I check in for surgery at 7.  Not sure what time they are gonna put me out, but it shouldn’t be too late after that.

I’ve got some posts scheduled for the next couple of days (I had SO MANY things on my mind, I couldn’t not post!)…but I’ll be back with an update soon.


Anxiety

So yesterday, we had some ice/snow/sleet mess.  And it wasn’t that major (although many schools closed in anticipation of the storm)…it caused some MAJOR anxiety for me that seemed to come out of nowhere.

It started when I was going to warm up my car and slipped in the driveway.  I didn’t even hurt myself, but I scared myself.

Then I got to town on my way to work and a car had slide sideways on a little bridge and blocked it.  I freaked out.  While there were many routes I could have taken to get to work, I was relieved when my boss told me I could work from home.  So back I went.

Then last night, I needed to come to town to teach Zumba…and I made Tyler drive me.

Y’all.  The roads were FINE.  But I was so scared.

So tonight, I have tickets to see Pentatonix in Tulsa with my friend Lauren.  And while I was tempted to say “nope” and stay safe and warm at home, Tyler told me I needed to go.  He told me I needed to go get over this fear of bad roads (especially since they are FINE!)…and I needed to go because I want to. 

I had some anxiety about it this morning and last night…but I am feeling better today.  I keep reminding myself to pray when I feel anxious.

This morning I read Psalm 4 (emphasis added):
 Answer me when I call to you,
    my righteous God.
Give me relief from my distress;
    have mercy on me and hear my prayer.

How long will you people turn my glory into shame?
    How long will you love delusions and seek false gods[b]?[c]
Know that the Lord has set apart his faithful servant for himself;
    the Lord hears when I call to him.
Tremble and[d] do not sin;
    when you are on your beds,
    search your hearts and be silent.
Offer the sacrifices of the righteous
    and trust in the Lord.
Many, Lord, are asking, “Who will bring us prosperity?”
    Let the light of your face shine on us.
Fill my heart with joy
    when their grain and new wine abound.
8 In peace I will lie down and sleep,
    for you alone, Lord,
    make me dwell in safety.
So….while I am praying for safe travels, I am also resting that God has good things for me, and He has allowed me to have caution and use wisdom…and He will be there to calm my heart.
I can’t wait to see Pentatonix tonight.  It’s a sold out show, so I know it will be awesome. And you’ll get to hear all about it! 🙂
 


Mid-Week Thoughts

I’m here to lay some things out that are on my heart and mind.

#1. This dadgum hurricane.  Yes, I am worried for everyone in the path of the storm.  But I am (selfishly) worried about our travel this weekend.  We are flying out Friday evening (when the storm is supposed to hit our area). We are only gone for 2.5 days, so we don’t really have time for travel issues.  I am praying for safe travels and uninterrupted plans. I know God is in control.  We are slated to depart Little Rock at 6 p.m. and fly to Chicago.  Both in the Friday path of the storm. 

Let’s just say I’ll be taking a baby Benadryl on the flight to calm myself down.  If only they offered nitrous on planes.  I would be golden.

#2. Weight loss.  While I weigh myself daily (because I use an app that calculates your “true weight” but doing a rolling average), Wednesdays are my “official” weigh in days where I record the change.  This week?  A measly .3 pounds. I’ll take it, but grumpily.  I am working quite hard, and just wish I could see results faster.  Oh well, I press on. {in related weight loss news, I guest posted today on Fitness Unscripted.  Check it out!)

#3. The fact that I didn’t meet this weight loss mini goal. (I know, two things about weight loss…I’m in the thick of it, so it is often on my mind).  I had set out to get to 164 by this weekend.  While I might lose another pound or so before we leave (wouldn’t that be nice!), I’m not making it to 164.  I’m currently sitting at 168 (I carry it well, I know 🙂 ha!). A part of me knows I worked really hard, and losing weight is hard, and it is ok that I didn’t meet this arbitrary goal.  But another part of me wonders what great lengths I could have gone to in order to make it happen.  But, that’s life.  I’m trying to lose weight in a healthy, sensible, sustainable manner….and it just isn’t making it melt away. So, I’m going to NYC 4 pounds heavier than what I wanted.  I doubt anyone will notice. 🙂  I am setting a new goal of being out of the 160s by Homecoming (Oct. 8).  These goals just give me something to work towards…and my current goal is 150 (subject to change), so if I can just see 160, then I only have 10 pounds left to go! Woohoo!

So yes, those are all pretty shallow things…but they are things on my mind right now.  Thanks for letting me share.