Last night, for the first time, I felt the disappointment of being a police wife. Yes, I’m proud of my husband. I’m glad he’s serving our city, keeping people safe. But last night, I was disappointed. Not in him, but in the fact that he had to go rescue a dumb person instead of spending time with me.
Maybe that’s selfish, but that was the reality. I haven’t really seen him in three days. We literally are ships passing in the night. I work during the day, I get up early. He gets home at midnight, sleeps until the last minute, gets up, goes to work. If I’m lucky, when my lunch break crosses with the time he’s driving to work, I might get to talk to him for 20 minutes.
So, I’m missing him. And last night we had made plans to eat dinner together on his lunch break. And when I got finished teaching Zumba, and I checked my phone, I had a text. Drunk person hit a telephone pole. Probably won’t make it.
And that was reality. He had to take care of the situation, serve and protect over spending time with me. Not because he wanted to, but because that’s what he does. That’s reality. And you know what? I cried.
I cried because I’m selfish, yes. I cried because I was sad. I wanted to spend time with him. I cried because I’m mad at somebody I’ve never met. And then I cried because that’s a person I should be praying for. So in my car on the drive home with tears in my eyes, I prayed. I prayed for my husband- for his safety. I prayed for him to make a positive impact on our city. I prayed for him to help people and be right where he needed to be. I also prayed for that drunk driver. That they were ok. That they would change their ways. And I prayed that next time, I might get to spend a 45 minute lunch break with my husband.
So I’m not saying this out of pity, just saying this to remember that for the first time, I felt like a real police wife. The sting of disappointment mixed with the pride of what he’s doing. I know this is life now. I guess God’s chipping away at my selfish bone.