Feeling like a Police Wife

Feeling like a Police Wife

Last night, for the first time, I felt the disappointment of being a police wife. Yes, I’m proud of my husband. I’m glad he’s serving our city, keeping people safe. But last night, I was disappointed. Not in him, but in the fact that he had to go rescue a dumb person instead of spending time with me.

Maybe that’s selfish, but that was the reality. I haven’t really seen him in three days. We literally are ships passing in the night. I work during the day, I get up early. He gets home at midnight, sleeps until the last minute, gets up, goes to work. If I’m lucky, when my lunch break crosses with the time he’s driving to work, I might get to talk to him for 20 minutes.

So, I’m missing him. And last night we had made plans to eat dinner together on his lunch break. And when I got finished teaching Zumba, and I checked my phone, I had a text. Drunk person hit a telephone pole. Probably won’t make it.

And that was reality. He had to take care of the situation, serve and protect over spending time with me.  Not because he wanted to, but because that’s what he does. That’s reality. And you know what? I cried.

I cried because I’m selfish, yes. I cried because I was sad. I wanted to spend time with him. I cried because I’m mad at somebody I’ve never met. And then I cried because that’s a person I should be praying for. So in my car on the drive home with tears in my eyes, I prayed. I prayed for my husband- for his safety. I prayed for him to make a positive impact on our city. I prayed for him to help people and be right where he needed to be. I also prayed for that drunk driver. That they were ok. That they would change their ways. And I prayed that next time, I might get to spend a 45 minute lunch break with my husband.

So I’m not saying this out of pity, just saying this to remember that for the first time, I felt like a real police wife. The sting of disappointment mixed with the pride of what he’s doing. I know this is life now.  I guess God’s chipping away at my selfish bone.1342486209479_1061127


Comments

  1. Ugh, I don’t blame you for feeling upset. That sounds miserable- especially when it’s a drunk driver who got themselves in trouble…not exactly the kind of ‘serving’ that feels really worth it!! I hope you get some time to spend together soon!

  2. Wow, I think it’s really important to voice these feelings. Many people do not get to hear this side of things. It not only takes a strong person to be a police officer but it takes a strong partner and a stronger relationship. Luckily, you guy are both strong!

  3. oh my word. i can totally relate. this is the first night in 2 weeks almost that i’ve spent with shea. i’m so over these 12+ hour work shifts where something happens and he has to stay even later. so thankful for a good job, but very much selfish in wanting to have my husband home with me! also, just wanted to let you know all your exercise posts are encouraging me to stay active and accountable. 🙂 also, to reply to your other comment a few posts back, i’m reading through the bible on the SRT app, but can’t wait to do the Esther study in february.

    • Em, girl…I’m right there with you. 12 hour shifts sound tough..Tyler just works 10. Many nights though, he is late doing paperwork after long calls. It stinks. But I have to remind myself that my version of marriage may not look like everyone else’s…but we can make the most of it.

      I hope you get some quality time soon!

      And thanks for the encouragement about the workout posts. It’s tough, but it’s actually a little easier when I get a virtual pat on the back from Instagram! ha! And YAY for SRT- I’ll have to be on the lookout for the Ester study- that sounds great!

  4. I have definitely felt this way before.. where you feel sad (a perfectly normal emotion) for a perfectly good reason and yet end up feeling guilty because someone needs help. It’s a tough spot to be but your feelings are justified. You’re allowed to feel bad and angry that you can’t spend time with your husband–it doesn’t make you a bad person! <3

    • Thanks, Georgeanne. That’s good validation. It’s not an emotion I feel often (thankfully, I’m normally pretty upbeat) so when it hit hard, it was difficult to deal with. <3!

  5. I totally understand what you mean. In my younger days, My mom was a police wife & a military wife. My dad would be have to go when called upon & at times she would feel pained but she understood. Us kids, maybe not so much!! 🙂 we missed our dad because sometimes we didn’t “see” him for a few days. Now, I am engaged to a police officer, I’m sure I’ll experience those feelings, too when it doesn’t go as planned! He, too, will get called upon when needed. I will feel pained & selfish because I’d rather have him home instead of helping someone in need. Selfish? No! You want your husband home just like any other wife who has hers with her every night. I will always pray for the safety of all police officers because when he gets called for duty, we too, want ours to come back! So I understand your feelings! Glad I read this & thank you so much for this post!

  6. Thank you for sharing. I too am a police wife. There should be a club or at least a better support group for all of us. You cant truly understand the constant demand of the job until you are living it. My husband works silly hours, is constantly covering shifts that he cant get filled, and on the days when he is not at work, he is on the phone dealing with things in the department or answering questions. It is a job that doesn’t quit when you leave for the day. I think we are allowed to have our selfish, crying woo is me moments, even if they are alone in the car as we drive home instead of to the dinner date we were planning. Keep sharing, those who understand are not judging, but feeling better having it said out loud. 🙂

    • Tracy, thanks so much for your comment. There SHOULD be more support. I’ve found some Facebook groups, but I wish there was more. It’s true, there is no end. There are emails to answer, court dates to appear at…not to mention the times when the shift doesn’t end because a call came in. I’m glad to know we aren’t alone. 🙂

  7. My husband works 60-70 hours a week farming which is a much more dangerous and strenuous job than an police officer. Look it up via the Bureau of labor and statistics. Police don’t even make the top ten. Stop feeling sorry for yourselves ladies.

  8. How did I guess that wouldn’t be posted ? Truth is difficult to accept.

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