Fighting the What If Monster

If there is one word that describes my 2013, it’s been Transition.

It didn’t start out that way.  But in February, Tyler decided to sell his shop.  Since then, my life has felt like it’s been in transition.

Transition to him being at home for a while, figuring out what to do.

Transition figuring out how to be a one-income household for the time being.

Transition figuring out how to navigate our marriage when so much changed.

Transition to him seeking a new career….a career that’s bringing TONS of What Ifs.

Oh man.  I’ve never been a terrible worrier, but when my mind wanders there, the What Ifs come on strong.

He’s applied for (and advanced through several rounds) the police department. We may have a couple more months before they make final offers (there are around 70 guys in the running right now).  So nothing is guaranteed.

While I do feel like he is perfectly suited for this (he is calm and never hot headed, he’s super detailed and aware, he’s fair and level headed, and he loves helping people), and I know that God says He will give us the desires of our heart (and I believe God put that desire in his heart to serve there), I know there are still so many unknowns.  Because of that, I worry.

I also worry about the possibilities if he DOES get on the police department.  What shift will he work?  What if we work opposite and never see each other (yes, I know LOTS of couples do this and have great relationships…but it will be a change, and I worry).  What if he puts all this time in and doesn’t like it?  What if he gets hurt?  What if? What if? WHAT IF?

I have to stop and remind myself to breathe and pray.  That God’s got this. That Tyler is only on loan to me.  That I’m called to love him and support him…and let God handle the rest. 🙂

I’m thankful I have a God who is MUCH bigger than the What If Monster.


  1. Praying for you and this time of transition. And of course you know you can talk to me anytime 🙂

  2. Thats awesome! Good for him! You will be a great LE Wife!

  3. Praying for you guys, His plan will be revealed, but being still is HARD and scarey!

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