Pushing My Buttons

Pushing My Buttons

Last week, I got some backlash from a guest blog post that I wrote.

I wasn’t prepared for the post to get such harsh criticism, and some of the feedback really pushed my buttons.  Some of the feedback really hurt.

A friend, Jasmine, challenged me to look inward and instead of trying to make the Internet understand and be nice (because, duh, that will never happen) to fight my insecurities and better myself.

I liked that.  I liked the thought of better, not bitter.

So let’s talk about a few things that pushed my buttons.

First off, the thought that I would be rude/ugly/insensitive to something I care so deeply about.  I wrote about my topic because I love it – not because I wanted to be ugly.  And I hated that anyone thought I would be mean on purpose.  I am insecure that maybe I complain too much, am too negative…and that button was pushed.

I was also hurt by the thought that I’m not a “good” Zumba teacher.  I work hard to pick music, make up dances, be encouraging (even on days when I’m not feeling it).  However, I know that I could be doing more. You can always be doing more.  I’m not the best dancer on the planet, and I know I’m not the most creative choreographer, or the best teacher.  I am insecure that I should be spending MORE time, MORE effort, MORE thought to teaching Zumba.  That button was pushed.

I was also hurt by the accusation that I don’t care about people.  I can understand that my sarcasm came off the wrong way…but I am insecure that I’m too self-absorbed, too selfish…and that button was pushed too.

All that to say, I’m focused on being the person I want to be.  The person who has fewer buttons available to push because she knows who she is, and is proud of that.

It’s me. Trying to be better today.  Insecurities and all.

And on another note…here are some awesome sunflowers that I grew from seeds.  Pretty, huh?  I happen to love them next to our red barn.

 


Comments

  1. I love pocket Brittney, but I don’t like when people make her come out! Good for you for being better and shame on that reader! Love the sunflowers 🙂

  2. Girl, you know what I say… when you start getting nasty comments/criticism online… you know you’ve made it to the BIG TIME!!! Ha! By the way, I love ya just the way you are! Mwah!

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