For some reason, the last couple of weeks, I’ve felt like I’m slowly getting a handle on everything that was stressing me out.
Especially with the change of the year. Something felt miraculously new on January 1. I haven’t experienced that feeling before- the magic clean slate of a new year- but I think that for the last couple of years, so much life stuff has been bogging me down in a struggle…that I finally felt like I could get past it in this new year. It feels like a new wave has washed onto the shore.
Now, I’m not being naive. I know that even though at
midnight 11 p.m. on New Year’s Eve when we toasted to 2016 with “Here’s to all good things this year!”…that doesn’t guarantee that 2016 comes trouble-free. However, it felt like for the first time in a while, that was a possibility.
In the past couple of years, we had struggles of Tyler finding a job, family health stuff, adjusting to police life, the death of a loved one…it’s been heavy stuff. And processing that heavy stuff has taken a toll on me mentally.
However, with a lot of that behind us (for now), it feels fresh and new.
I told someone at Zumba last night that I finally feel like I have a good grip on life again. I feel it’s possibilities, it’s promises. I feel good.
I don’t know where this year and this feeling will take me. I’m hoping that feeling more “in control” will allow me to get back to some health goals (because I’ve talked before that the good choices train is the first one to go when my life becomes too much to bear). I’m hoping that means we will have lots of fun memories. I’m hoping that means spiritual growth. I’m hoping that means dreaming and making goals and reaching them.
So, here’s to things coming together. Time to ride this wave.