Thoughts as a New LEO Wife

Thoughts as a New LEO Wife

When Tyler got his new job as a police officer, a friend (whose husband is also a police officer) sent me a link on Facebook to a page about LEO Families.  I had NO IDEA what LEO stood for. (Law Enforcement Officer).  It’s a broad term used for anyone serving the public in that capacity- from police officers, detectives, game wardens, etc. Well, now I’m part of the LEO family.  And like most things, I have some thoughts about it.

For starters, I can say goodbye to “regular” schedules for Tyler.  No matter what shift he is on, there is no 9-5-type option.  He will work 10 hour shifts (4 days on, 3 days off)…and the rotations either cover CRAZY early in the morning, LATE into the evening, or OVERNIGHT.  It’s ok.  I can deal.  We will adjust.  But I’m struggling a bit picturing life in the future…what will this crazy schedule look like with kids someday?  I can what-if myself to death…so I’m trying to just get used to it for now.

Along with the schedule is when is he supposed to get anything done?  When he works from 9 pm to 7 am, he comes home and crashes.  He sleeps until like 4 or 5, then eats, showers, works out, gets dressed and leaves again.  When is he supposed to go see the doctor?  Take the dog to the vet?  Fix my dining room chair?  Guess that waits for a day off…

The second is the sleeping alone.  It’s not the worst thing ever…but I do find myself waking up more in the night when he is gone.  I wake up, look at the clock, say a quick prayer, and try to go back to sleep.  I’ve kept the TV on, turned it off, kept the bedroom door open, closed it, tried lots of things to make myself most comfortable alone at night.

Let’s also discuss the gear. SO MUCH GEAR. Guns, bullet proof vests, uniforms, baton, knife, flashlights, cold weather layers, hats, boots…it’s overtaking my house.  We sort of have a mud-room system going on…but it needs to be organized and more in control.

I’m learning a new language. There’s talk of beats (which are numbered around the city).  Someday I’ll know automatically where he has been when he tells me he was in 8 all night.  There are PI charges (public intox) and other codes and lingo to learn.  I’m doing a lot of googling.IMG_8036.JPG

When he gets home, I get lots of stories.  Stories that were fun/exciting to him. Stories of busting the bad guys or exhilarating times when he was trying to help someone. Then he says, “But you know, I don’t tell you everything. You wouldn’t want to know.”  Gulp.  Lord, protect him.

Also much more laundry that I have to take care of.  Sure, he can have his uniforms dry cleaned…but we don’t live in town so that’s not exactly convienent.  So we wash them.  On perm press, and they have to be folded RIGHT AWAY SO THEY DON’T WRINKLE.  It’s just a load a week, so I can handle it…but more laundry.  🙂

 

I’m not complaining about any of this. But it’s changes.  Some that I’ll have to adjust to.  I’m so thankful that he has a job he’s happy with. One he looks forward to.  One he doesn’t dread. But these are also things I NEVER would have imagined to be new challenges when we embarked on this journey.  This blog is not turning into a full-time LEO wife blog…but it’s part of my life…so it’s going to be part of the space here too.

Thanks for listening to me ramble. 🙂


Comments

  1. Man, those are some things I’d never even considered before!! Like all the space that gear takes up??! So crazy!! Well, I admire you both- I’m sure that being a LEO or a LEO wife is no small thing to emotionally adjust to…my prayers are with you!

    • Girl….gear EVERYWHERE. It’s nuts. He could keep some of it in his locker at work..but since we live so far from town (30 minutes) it’s not ideal in case he forgets something. Thanks for the prayers!

  2. Congrats to Tyler! Welcome to the LEO family. As a 911 dispatcher I am well aware of everything you posted above. <3

  3. I’m in my 17th year as cop’s wife…this is the best advice I was given when my husband graduated the academy many years ago.
    Never never ever ever let him see you worried. If you worry, he will worry. His responsibility to you is to come home. He has been trained, TRUST HIM AND TRUST HIS BROTHERS IN BLUE!! He can’t be worried about you and what your feelings will be if he is face to face with an armed suspect. With that being said…make him tell you everything. He’s human…you are his wife there is no judgement.
    Good Luck and enjoy the ride.

  4. Brittany-
    As a 12 year LEO myself, in July I will be marrying another LEO. Both our first marriage, no children. I completely understand what you are/have gone through, from both sides. The laundry is astronomical. Especially when Tyler becomes more specialized. Mine is on the ES Team (SWAT is usually what you hear them called on TV). And then all of the training that takes them away from you, sometimes for weeks.
    Luckily mine works in a neighboring jurisdiction and I can hear everything that he does. And we both work mids, so we both lead the same night owl lives.
    -With that said, I will give you a few, tips I have learned over the years, not only in learning to love him, but what my family has lived with.
    Unconditional love. But don’t smother. There are so many things that we see, emotions that we go through, we have nothing left when we come home. Home is our safe place, let him relax and when comfortable, he will talk.
    If you can, take small weekend vacations, even if it’s just going to s friends cabin up north. He’ll need it, it won’t cost much, and the benefits outweigh fixing that chair.
    And my last. NEVER have a thought in your mind that he will not come home. Banish it! As much as they teach us the Warriors Mindset, you need to think that way too. KNOW he will come home. And, if, God forbid, something does happen, you will get through it.
    Good luck to you and Tyler, I pray for his safety, and your transition in loving your new LEO.
    -AC

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